We were on the highway today experiencing heavy traffic heading into St. Louis, and eventually we came to realize it was due to an accident in the east-bound lane.
It's so easy to feel frustrated on the road... to be taken over by impatience, or anger, or frustration. Forgetting about the destination and - more importantly - the journey.
Having lived in a city for a long time, I know what it's like to finally discover the mind-numbingly slow traffic was all due to gawking or slowing down because an accident has occurred on the other side of the road.
Impatience.
Frustration.
A shaking of the head and rolling of the eyes and heavy sighing as the pace picks up and people again begin to zoom around on all sides.
But what happens to the persons or people involved in the crash? What effect might a quick prayer or thought for them and their families have? How does it change the subsequent minutes/hours/days if I can feel grateful for my own safety and empathy for those who slowed out of concern or fear or curiosity or sadness? That shift might make all the difference.
Showing posts with label safety. Show all posts
Showing posts with label safety. Show all posts
Friday, July 18, 2008
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Fear and Change in DQ Country
"Yay, we made it to the Dairy Queen and back without being mugged" is a phrase that carries a mixed emotion. It's not necessarily the type of thing you want to be thinking and feeling in the place you live - particularly when you have a small child and several night classes per semester.
I'm not sure if it's the result of getting older, or becoming a mother, or feeling a bit out of sorts and disconnected after two eye surgeries... but I have noticed an increase in anxiety and concern when it comes to my safety and the safety of my family.
Mind you, it does not help to live in a town with crime stats as high as the major city we once lived in. But I do think that safety, like so much else in life, has to do - at least in part - with one's perspective and mindset.
NPR was doing some strange little story on Anthony Perkins, the actor who played Norman Bates in Psycho, and in conjunction with the story, they interviewed someone who believes that people can sometimes take on the characteristics of loved ones who have died as a way of processing grief.
My grandmother was one of the most fearful women I've known. She was convinced the world around her was dangerous and violent, and I remember her nightly ritual of checking and rechecking each door in the house to make sure it was locked before she went to bed.
I go through the same ritual myself now... and notice some of the same tendencies toward hiding away from the world around us in an effort to stay safe. So... when the college kid who lives two doors down goes peeling around the street at 2am in a car with a tampered muffler, rather than being the first one out the door to tell them to be conscious of their neighbors, I tell Andy to stop flashing the lights because who knows what they might do in retribution.
Much of this current time in my life feels strange and so far removed from the concept I once had of myself. The courageous, charismatic, sexy, playful, edgy, strong, fearless self who emerged in my 20s and early 30s has been replaced by a quiet, careful, uncomfortable, fearful and often unhappy woman who feels somewhat foreign to me.
Whether it's grief or no, whether it has to do with location or perception, I simply know this is not a good place to be. Luckily, I believe wholeheartedly in the possibility of change and the flexibility of life... and so the visualization of a better future - the first step toward evolving the outcome - has already begun.
I'm not sure if it's the result of getting older, or becoming a mother, or feeling a bit out of sorts and disconnected after two eye surgeries... but I have noticed an increase in anxiety and concern when it comes to my safety and the safety of my family.
Mind you, it does not help to live in a town with crime stats as high as the major city we once lived in. But I do think that safety, like so much else in life, has to do - at least in part - with one's perspective and mindset.
NPR was doing some strange little story on Anthony Perkins, the actor who played Norman Bates in Psycho, and in conjunction with the story, they interviewed someone who believes that people can sometimes take on the characteristics of loved ones who have died as a way of processing grief.
My grandmother was one of the most fearful women I've known. She was convinced the world around her was dangerous and violent, and I remember her nightly ritual of checking and rechecking each door in the house to make sure it was locked before she went to bed.
I go through the same ritual myself now... and notice some of the same tendencies toward hiding away from the world around us in an effort to stay safe. So... when the college kid who lives two doors down goes peeling around the street at 2am in a car with a tampered muffler, rather than being the first one out the door to tell them to be conscious of their neighbors, I tell Andy to stop flashing the lights because who knows what they might do in retribution.
Much of this current time in my life feels strange and so far removed from the concept I once had of myself. The courageous, charismatic, sexy, playful, edgy, strong, fearless self who emerged in my 20s and early 30s has been replaced by a quiet, careful, uncomfortable, fearful and often unhappy woman who feels somewhat foreign to me.
Whether it's grief or no, whether it has to do with location or perception, I simply know this is not a good place to be. Luckily, I believe wholeheartedly in the possibility of change and the flexibility of life... and so the visualization of a better future - the first step toward evolving the outcome - has already begun.
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