This week I've had very bad headaches again - very similar to the ones I had the week my retina detached in my right eye. I've been writing them off, thinking it has to do with my wonky prescription (I'm still waiting for my new glasses), but yesterday I saw a ring on the white floor of our bathroom when I looked down. I thought, "Well, that's odd."
Tried to figure out if it was coming from my right eye or my left, tried to figure out if it was related to something I had just been looking at, etc. Then decided to write it off because it was a dark ring, rather than a light ring. And hey... they just looked around recently and said: Everything is fine. You could wait until August for the second surgery if you wanted to.
Today I keep thinking there is a smudge on my glasses (there is not), and I can see floaters in the left eye. So we've moved from coincidental to worrisome, and I've got an appointment at 5:15pm. Andy has had jury duty this week and is in deliberations this afternoon and is therefore unreachable. His arrival time home is unknowable. This is not helping, seeing as how he's my anchor and best friend and husband and our 2 year-old will be up soon and needing to eat... right around 5:15pm.
I hope history is not repeated wherein I am forced to drop everything and drive to St. Louis (or rather be chauffeured by an amazing and selfless friend) to have emergency surgery. But at this point, honestly - I'm not really holding my breath. It's been a rough year or two and every time we think we're out from under the little black raincloud of bad luck, something new pops up and we are left shaking our heads in disbelief.
Mind you, I tend to believe everything happens for a reason, and I try very hard to stay positive. But in this moment, I am feeling upset, panicked, and angry.
So be it. Sometimes, that's how I am feeling. May as well embrace it and keep moving forward.
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