I must sing the praises of my Beckys today. I have two friends named Becky, and they are both incredible people and two of the main reasons I have stayed even moderately sane through this crazy journey of parenthood/renovation/grad school. My daughter has claimed them as "her friends," and she calls them "the two" because they are the two Beckys.
We've been really lucky to have a lot of help while here, and I think sometimes in the midst of feeling stressed or lonely or overwhelmed or freaked out, we tend to overlook it. Sort of like missing the forest for the trees... or the other way around.
But getting up at 4:30am in order to come and stay with a likely-to-be sleepy and disoriented 2 year-old before working for four hours and then being in class for another four hours, just so your friend's husband can drive her to Marion for eye surgery and be there for morale support is the hallmark of a true friend. As is driving materials from class over after work and class of your own so that said surgery recipient can try and keep up with things.
Sometimes the generosity of others blows me away. I hope I have been similarly generous, though I fear I have not... but I certainly strive to continually improve my ability to give freely and with love.
Showing posts with label surgery. Show all posts
Showing posts with label surgery. Show all posts
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Thursday, June 12, 2008
W.T.F.
This week I've had very bad headaches again - very similar to the ones I had the week my retina detached in my right eye. I've been writing them off, thinking it has to do with my wonky prescription (I'm still waiting for my new glasses), but yesterday I saw a ring on the white floor of our bathroom when I looked down. I thought, "Well, that's odd."
Tried to figure out if it was coming from my right eye or my left, tried to figure out if it was related to something I had just been looking at, etc. Then decided to write it off because it was a dark ring, rather than a light ring. And hey... they just looked around recently and said: Everything is fine. You could wait until August for the second surgery if you wanted to.
Today I keep thinking there is a smudge on my glasses (there is not), and I can see floaters in the left eye. So we've moved from coincidental to worrisome, and I've got an appointment at 5:15pm. Andy has had jury duty this week and is in deliberations this afternoon and is therefore unreachable. His arrival time home is unknowable. This is not helping, seeing as how he's my anchor and best friend and husband and our 2 year-old will be up soon and needing to eat... right around 5:15pm.
I hope history is not repeated wherein I am forced to drop everything and drive to St. Louis (or rather be chauffeured by an amazing and selfless friend) to have emergency surgery. But at this point, honestly - I'm not really holding my breath. It's been a rough year or two and every time we think we're out from under the little black raincloud of bad luck, something new pops up and we are left shaking our heads in disbelief.
Mind you, I tend to believe everything happens for a reason, and I try very hard to stay positive. But in this moment, I am feeling upset, panicked, and angry.
So be it. Sometimes, that's how I am feeling. May as well embrace it and keep moving forward.
Tried to figure out if it was coming from my right eye or my left, tried to figure out if it was related to something I had just been looking at, etc. Then decided to write it off because it was a dark ring, rather than a light ring. And hey... they just looked around recently and said: Everything is fine. You could wait until August for the second surgery if you wanted to.
Today I keep thinking there is a smudge on my glasses (there is not), and I can see floaters in the left eye. So we've moved from coincidental to worrisome, and I've got an appointment at 5:15pm. Andy has had jury duty this week and is in deliberations this afternoon and is therefore unreachable. His arrival time home is unknowable. This is not helping, seeing as how he's my anchor and best friend and husband and our 2 year-old will be up soon and needing to eat... right around 5:15pm.
I hope history is not repeated wherein I am forced to drop everything and drive to St. Louis (or rather be chauffeured by an amazing and selfless friend) to have emergency surgery. But at this point, honestly - I'm not really holding my breath. It's been a rough year or two and every time we think we're out from under the little black raincloud of bad luck, something new pops up and we are left shaking our heads in disbelief.
Mind you, I tend to believe everything happens for a reason, and I try very hard to stay positive. But in this moment, I am feeling upset, panicked, and angry.
So be it. Sometimes, that's how I am feeling. May as well embrace it and keep moving forward.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Three Things You Don't Really Want to Hear Following Surgery for a Detached Retina
#1
Of course, it's unlikely you'll get back to 20/20. But at least we caught it in time to prevent total loss.
I suppose this one should not have suprised me so much. I mean... before my follow up appointment with the surgeon, I was convinced I was going to be severely visually impaired in my right eye. So really, I shouldn't complain that my sight cannot be perfect again with corrective lenses. After all, I'm so nearsighted, some optometrists were amazed I could get to 20/20 with contacts.
But... it was a bit of a blow. Emotionally I suppose. I think to hear again that I was not out of the woods, that my life could still be very strongly impacted by this event, that I might not be able to see any better than I do one week post-surgery - it took me by surprise.
That said, I am still eternally grateful they caught the detached retina in time to prevent damage to the macula, that they were able to fit me in with a surgeon who is one of the best retina specialists in the area, that my friend Becky was able to drive me up and let me crash at her family's house... and they were so sweet and took such good care of me, and that my eye has healed as well as it has. I can see so much more now than I could just a few days ago... and if they can get me close to 20/20, then I will hopefully be able to still drive. I have no idea what the rules are where that's concerned.
#2
It looks like you've got a frayed suture.
Ah ha! So that's why it feels like something is jabbing into my eye... because IT IS!!! Truly, the bad news was more that they could not fit me in to see a surgeon on staff until tomorrow afternoon - which means 24 more hours of jabby, stabby, twingy, stingy, itchy pain. Ugh.
The bright side? See the last paragraph of #1. I should not complain.
#3
Hospital OPS $13,520.61
Insurance Adjustment $0.00
Amount Owed by Patient $13,520.61
I think this one probably took the cake today. We got the bill for the surgery; luckily, I was able to speak to someone in billing who said no claim had been sent to the insurance company yet and that, based on what type we have (thank you AllKids), we aren't likely to owe anything.
(Of course, based on our past insurance insanity, I kept records of the time, the name of the person I spoke to, and the gist of the conversation. You can never be too careful!)
As in many instances in the past where large hospital bills have arrived in the mail, I cannot help but wonder and worry after all those without insurance. There are undoubtedly people out there who find themselves in the exact same situation I was in (you need emergency surgery in the next few hours or you will go blind), and they know doing what they must for their health will result in bankruptcy, hardship, and/or severe distress for their families.
That's no kind of choice.
Of course, it's unlikely you'll get back to 20/20. But at least we caught it in time to prevent total loss.
I suppose this one should not have suprised me so much. I mean... before my follow up appointment with the surgeon, I was convinced I was going to be severely visually impaired in my right eye. So really, I shouldn't complain that my sight cannot be perfect again with corrective lenses. After all, I'm so nearsighted, some optometrists were amazed I could get to 20/20 with contacts.
But... it was a bit of a blow. Emotionally I suppose. I think to hear again that I was not out of the woods, that my life could still be very strongly impacted by this event, that I might not be able to see any better than I do one week post-surgery - it took me by surprise.
That said, I am still eternally grateful they caught the detached retina in time to prevent damage to the macula, that they were able to fit me in with a surgeon who is one of the best retina specialists in the area, that my friend Becky was able to drive me up and let me crash at her family's house... and they were so sweet and took such good care of me, and that my eye has healed as well as it has. I can see so much more now than I could just a few days ago... and if they can get me close to 20/20, then I will hopefully be able to still drive. I have no idea what the rules are where that's concerned.
#2
It looks like you've got a frayed suture.
Ah ha! So that's why it feels like something is jabbing into my eye... because IT IS!!! Truly, the bad news was more that they could not fit me in to see a surgeon on staff until tomorrow afternoon - which means 24 more hours of jabby, stabby, twingy, stingy, itchy pain. Ugh.
The bright side? See the last paragraph of #1. I should not complain.
#3
Hospital OPS $13,520.61
Insurance Adjustment $0.00
Amount Owed by Patient $13,520.61
I think this one probably took the cake today. We got the bill for the surgery; luckily, I was able to speak to someone in billing who said no claim had been sent to the insurance company yet and that, based on what type we have (thank you AllKids), we aren't likely to owe anything.
(Of course, based on our past insurance insanity, I kept records of the time, the name of the person I spoke to, and the gist of the conversation. You can never be too careful!)
As in many instances in the past where large hospital bills have arrived in the mail, I cannot help but wonder and worry after all those without insurance. There are undoubtedly people out there who find themselves in the exact same situation I was in (you need emergency surgery in the next few hours or you will go blind), and they know doing what they must for their health will result in bankruptcy, hardship, and/or severe distress for their families.
That's no kind of choice.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Update:JOY/Update:SORROW
Today merits two updates... one a joy, one a sorrow. One personal, one global.
JOY
Update number one has to do with my surgery... I saw the surgeon today, and he said there is no retinal fold, rather the dark area I am seeing is the gas bubble, which should decrease in size over time. He said all looks good, and he expects everything to heal pretty well over the next 3-4 weeks. I see him again at the end of May and, assuming no more work is needed on the right eye, we'll schedule an appointment for the left eye, which he thinks can probably be done in the office. All very good news.
As I told my loved ones, I won't feel 100% relaxed until it's all over and done with, because I have heard from many people that multiple surgeries are often necessary. But it was quite relieving to hear all looks good and that he expects the recovery process to go well.
SORROW
Perhaps you've been following the story already, but the death toll in Myanmar is now up to at least 22,000, with over 40,000 people still missing. This is the greatest impact a natural disaster has had in Southeast Asia since the tsunami in 2004.
In an effort to be proactive (and to tilt at some windmills - see yesterday's post), here is information for providing aid to the region, should you feel so inclined:
http://www.google.com/myanmarcyclone/
JOY
Update number one has to do with my surgery... I saw the surgeon today, and he said there is no retinal fold, rather the dark area I am seeing is the gas bubble, which should decrease in size over time. He said all looks good, and he expects everything to heal pretty well over the next 3-4 weeks. I see him again at the end of May and, assuming no more work is needed on the right eye, we'll schedule an appointment for the left eye, which he thinks can probably be done in the office. All very good news.
As I told my loved ones, I won't feel 100% relaxed until it's all over and done with, because I have heard from many people that multiple surgeries are often necessary. But it was quite relieving to hear all looks good and that he expects the recovery process to go well.
SORROW
Perhaps you've been following the story already, but the death toll in Myanmar is now up to at least 22,000, with over 40,000 people still missing. This is the greatest impact a natural disaster has had in Southeast Asia since the tsunami in 2004.
In an effort to be proactive (and to tilt at some windmills - see yesterday's post), here is information for providing aid to the region, should you feel so inclined:
http://www.google.com/myanmarcyclone/
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Riches: A Reconceptualization
My cousin Wendell has been in the hospital this week. Actually, he's my mother's cousin... so I always forget what that makes me... first cousin once removed or second cousin or what?
Whatever our relation, I am very, very fond of him. He's an amazing man who taught me two very important lessons (just through the simple act of being himself).
1. Go for substance, not shine.
I had spent a lot of time chasing after pretty men who talked a good game and had everyone charmed but accomplished little in the way of true passion or character. Wendell opened my eyes to a new type of partner - his marriage with Pru to a new type of partnership. I wanted someone intelligent, interesting, sincere, and gentle. Which meant going for the unusual rather than the usual... or at least, what was my usual.
2. There is great beauty and dignity in a simple life.
Wendell helped to shape my own understanding of myself and what I wanted out of life. Hearing his stories of working in wildlife management, his tales of his and Pru's first several years together, remembrances of his time in the navy, and his overwhelming passion for (and knowledge of) history, antiques, and music changed the way I understood the concept of success. I began to realize creativity does not have to be on a public scale in order to be fulfilling... it's possible to balance a job you love with a family you commit to and still find time and energy for outlets that are equal parts rejuvenating and relaxing. Taking a genuine interest in the people and world around you can provide endless opportunities for personal growth and satisfaction... and it has nothing to do with fame or fortune.
Wendell has a surgery scheduled for tomorrow morning, and then possibly another later in the week. I am praying for success in each so that these steps may lead to several more years in which he can spend quality time with all of us.
I know none of us is ready to let him go just yet.
Whatever our relation, I am very, very fond of him. He's an amazing man who taught me two very important lessons (just through the simple act of being himself).
1. Go for substance, not shine.
I had spent a lot of time chasing after pretty men who talked a good game and had everyone charmed but accomplished little in the way of true passion or character. Wendell opened my eyes to a new type of partner - his marriage with Pru to a new type of partnership. I wanted someone intelligent, interesting, sincere, and gentle. Which meant going for the unusual rather than the usual... or at least, what was my usual.
2. There is great beauty and dignity in a simple life.
Wendell helped to shape my own understanding of myself and what I wanted out of life. Hearing his stories of working in wildlife management, his tales of his and Pru's first several years together, remembrances of his time in the navy, and his overwhelming passion for (and knowledge of) history, antiques, and music changed the way I understood the concept of success. I began to realize creativity does not have to be on a public scale in order to be fulfilling... it's possible to balance a job you love with a family you commit to and still find time and energy for outlets that are equal parts rejuvenating and relaxing. Taking a genuine interest in the people and world around you can provide endless opportunities for personal growth and satisfaction... and it has nothing to do with fame or fortune.
Wendell has a surgery scheduled for tomorrow morning, and then possibly another later in the week. I am praying for success in each so that these steps may lead to several more years in which he can spend quality time with all of us.
I know none of us is ready to let him go just yet.
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