It

One of my classes this semester has me placed with a cooperating teacher so that I may observe his work and teach at least two lessons in the classroom on my own. It's one of the core classes school counseling graduate students must take if they are pursuing certification in IL without already holding a teaching certificate.

Although I have done a lot of teaching, it has never been in a traditional classroom setting for a full year, etc. I find the work incredibly daunting and those who do it well terribly admirable.

In a twist of lucky fate (a blessing, really), I have been placed with an amazing teacher. Sometimes you can watch someone do something and think, "Wow. This person is doing just what he/she was meant to do." They've found their it—whatever that may be.

I felt that way when I saw Ani DiFranco perform live. I felt that way when I saw Dr. Harrawood, one of my profs, share some of her counseling skills in class (she has since moved on to Idaho State... great for them, but very sad for us). I feel that way every time I have a class with Dr. Asner-Self (another prof who is still, thankfully, at SIUC). Or when I read the writings of my fellow Neo-Futurists, or hear my brother playing percussion, or watch my husband working on a play at any stage of the process.

My cooperating teacher displays a similar sort of passion, expertise, and inspired ability in the classroom. And so it's rather wonderful to read about all the things that make a teacher effective—and then see it right there in front of me in action (with middle school students, who can be quite a challenge to reach sometimes). What a gift!

What teachers do is incredibly difficult. And those who are truly excellent at their jobs are one of the greatest assets we have. We entrust quite a bit to them when we send our youth into their care for instruction and molding. Those who honor that trust and give their fullest effort in the hopes of making a positive difference in the lives of their students deserve the very deepest of respect.

If you know what your it is, I salute you. (I envy you.) And I hope it brings you immense joy and fulfillment for a long, long time.

17 places I'd rather be than sitting in a lecture hall for 3 hours

1. at home, sitting on the couch with Ari on my lap; able to put her to bed and then hang out with my amazing husband, Andy, who I love and miss like the dickens
2. sleeping
3. doing crossword puzzles at the kitchen table
4. taking a hot bath in our antique clawfoot tub
5. getting my blog done (I sort of did that, I guess, though I still had to type it in once I got home)
6. doing crunches on the living room floor
7. the gym (oh gym... how I miss you)
8. teaching workshops with the lovely Ms. Claff
9. workshopping a new piece for the dance company I have not yet started, but which is increasingly clear in my mind
10. on vacation (Galena, Rome, Praiano, Springfield, Australia, New Zealand, Greece... just about anywhere!)
11. getting homework done
12. sitting in a living room with all my Neo-Futurist ladies, drinking tea and catching up
13. hangin' with all our Dad's Garage peeps in Atlanta
14. writing
15. sitting in front of a heater smothered in deliciously toasty fleece blankets
16. at home studying for my comps and NCE
17. DONE WITH SCHOOL

Uke

I ordered a ukulele! Yup... a ukulele. I've been thinking about getting one for a long time... ever since I was in The Neo-Futurists and feeling frustrated by how big my guitar was (I have very tiny hands). I was thinking it would be nice to have something smaller and more portable.

My friend Chloe began learning to play and incorporated it into a bunch of plays. And I worried about "copying" her so I thought... Well, I'll just wait and get one later. Then Molly had one. Then I think Kristie was getting interested in them. And I thought... Well, I don't want to just jump on the ukulele bandwagon. What will people think?

Let me tell you, it's not important what people think. Certainly not in that kind of situation and maybe, ultimately, not ever.

So I ordered my ukulele. It will be my after EPSY 545 treat. And if I like the silly little one I bought as a starter, I can pass it on to Ari and upgrade to something a little bit nicer and a little bit more "serious." Here is what it looks like:



Maybe Chloe, Molly, Kristie, Ari, and I can form a little ukulele band.

And we won't care what anyone thinks.

Divinely Guided?

An email arrived today from a friend, Rachel Claff, who created a project for The Neo-Futurists one year that now runs every summer: the Neo-Futurist Film Fest. It's become a long-standing, much-anticipated, and much-loved tradition. Staged readings of the worst film scripts ever - or more accurately, from the 20th century. Brilliant.

This year marks the 7th annual Film Fest, and the final film of the festival is Coyote Ugly. Yes. Coyote Ugly.

So Rachel wrote to see if I would a) want to be in the cast for the film and/or b) choreograph the dancing for it. And here comes my dilemma... I'm in class over the summer, am taking two tests I need for certification in IL, and will be preparing for two tests I have to take in the fall (one national certification exam and one university exam required for graduation from the program). Not to mention that one of my courses may completely prevent me from doing any more than going up and choreographing a few numbers over the weekend. We shall see.

BUT MAN OH MAN DO I WANT TO DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just to go up for a weekend and choreograph it, but also to go up and perform too. Which made me wonder:

Is there divine purpose or guidance to our career paths? Are we meant to do something in this world... and if we are not doing it, are we somehow not fulfilling our purpose in life?

I left the arts to pursue a degree in an area I had long considered as a possibility... namely, counseling. I ended up choosing the school specialization (though I have vacilated GREATLY throughout my program), and I know that I want to find a way to balance working with children to make a positive change in their lives with completing some artistic projects that have long been in my head and may accomplish the first goal as well (at least a few of them).

So how do you do it? How do you balance your life when you feel you have multiple callings? Not even adding in the calling to the UU ministry... I've already got plenty: author, choreographer, counselor, performing artist, writer, etc.

I often feel envious of my brother, Brent Roman. He has always known he wanted to be a musician. And, more specifically, a percussionist. And... even more specifically than that - a percussionist working for Cirque du Soleil. And so that's what he's doing. He finishes up the Alegria tour in South America and will then switch over to Dralion in Australia. Crazy.

My respect and admiration for my brother are very high. I find him immensely talented, and I am very, very proud of him. But I also envy the way in which he knows exactly what he wants to do - and he doesn't have to split his focus or juggle multiple balls or constantly second guess himself in order to get there.

I often wish I could attain the same singularity of focus. But 35 years into my existence, I'm pretty sure it's not going to happen. I'm built a bit differently... and so my lesson seems to be much more about prioritization and balance. With an emphasis on balance.

So here I am... walking my metaphorical tightrope, checking my summer schedule and creating bartop dance numbers in my head while finishing up a large research project and looking for school counseling jobs in several states.

Most days I trust a larger pattern to the chaos... but sometimes, I can't help but wonder.