It

One of my classes this semester has me placed with a cooperating teacher so that I may observe his work and teach at least two lessons in the classroom on my own. It's one of the core classes school counseling graduate students must take if they are pursuing certification in IL without already holding a teaching certificate.

Although I have done a lot of teaching, it has never been in a traditional classroom setting for a full year, etc. I find the work incredibly daunting and those who do it well terribly admirable.

In a twist of lucky fate (a blessing, really), I have been placed with an amazing teacher. Sometimes you can watch someone do something and think, "Wow. This person is doing just what he/she was meant to do." They've found their it—whatever that may be.

I felt that way when I saw Ani DiFranco perform live. I felt that way when I saw Dr. Harrawood, one of my profs, share some of her counseling skills in class (she has since moved on to Idaho State... great for them, but very sad for us). I feel that way every time I have a class with Dr. Asner-Self (another prof who is still, thankfully, at SIUC). Or when I read the writings of my fellow Neo-Futurists, or hear my brother playing percussion, or watch my husband working on a play at any stage of the process.

My cooperating teacher displays a similar sort of passion, expertise, and inspired ability in the classroom. And so it's rather wonderful to read about all the things that make a teacher effective—and then see it right there in front of me in action (with middle school students, who can be quite a challenge to reach sometimes). What a gift!

What teachers do is incredibly difficult. And those who are truly excellent at their jobs are one of the greatest assets we have. We entrust quite a bit to them when we send our youth into their care for instruction and molding. Those who honor that trust and give their fullest effort in the hopes of making a positive difference in the lives of their students deserve the very deepest of respect.

If you know what your it is, I salute you. (I envy you.) And I hope it brings you immense joy and fulfillment for a long, long time.

Obscure Beauty

I heard on the radio yesterday Eartha Kitt had died. As is so often the case with celebrities, there were lots of stories, commentaries, editorial notes, etc. about her life and the many things that made her unique... one might even say great.

It made me think about this love affair we seem to have with the famous in American culture. We adore, pedestal-ize, twitter over, and eventually eulogize those who have reached stardom with a sort of myopic, laserbeam focus - forgetting or often not even noticing the many acts of courage, kindess, and generosity going on around us all the time.

It was one of the reasons I loved the CNN Heroes concept so much... except that, ironically, the very act of recognizing those heroes on such a grand and public scope - even ending with an awards ceremony and the "top hero" of the bunch (who very humbly suggested those in the audience raise/donate the same amount of her award for every other person nominated).

Maybe there is no middle ground between obscurity and celebrity. Although - I have seen it from time to time... the celebration and mourning of an ordinary life that managed to touch thousands of people without every garnering what any of us would consider extraordinary praise or public notice.

I've been thinking about it a lot not only because of my own internal struggle with recognition and obsurity, but also from the standpoint of school counseling and character education or classroom guidance. How do we teach good character to our youth? How do we model it? How do we encourage it?

I tend to think it aligns with both the Unitarian Universalist and Buddhist approaches, which differ slightly but have, fundamentally, the same end. You do what is right because it is right. UUs support action tied to a fundamental creed - a personal and collective promise - based upon the concepts of social connection, interpersonal equilibrium, and humanitarian responsibility. Similarly, the Buddhist approach also seems to be one of action, but perhaps one that is also tied into spiritual harmony and personal enlightenment (which in turn leads to greater compassion and ability to help others).

In either case, the idea is not to seek accolades, recognition, or praise for one's work. To commit random acts of kindness that are unsung expressions of love.

I like what Abraham Lincoln said on the subject (which sounds a bit like a Zen koan):

"Character is like a tree and reputation like its shadow.

The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing."

So how do we celebrate our ordinary heroes without making right action heroic? How do we encourage responsibility and compassion while underscoring such things should be the norm, rather than the exception?

Perhaps the first step is simply opening our experience to include the acts of generosity, compassion, and bravery taking place in our own lives. To notice our local and personal heroes and to see if we might be able to do the same for someone else - even if, and perhaps especially if, no one will ever know.

Cyclical Survival

I've been thinking about relational aggression lately. Some of my cohorts in the Ed Psych program are really interested in this area for potential research/theses/papers... and I also find it incredibly interesting and important, though my research interests still lie in more creative/expressive arts directions.

BUT... I was reading a link today in trying to track down more info on the phenomenon and came across something that was discussing the many roles that typically exist within groups/cliques of girls. I was trying to figure out which role(s) I held... and realized it definitely changed over time.

Elementary, middle school, and high school were all very different. Elementary school was the time I occupied the role of the "Target." I was the one being bullied.

Until Shannon showed up. She was a new student who arrived in 5th grade and provided an escape for what had become a daily hell for me. She became the new target; and I, relieved to finally have the focus off me, jumped on the teasing/bullying bandwagon and was just as mean to her in school as everyone else.

It's something I still grapple with, in terms of my self-identity and reconciling my actions across my lifetime. From a rational standpoint (and having a lot more theory and background in psychosocial development under my belt now too), I can understand why I behaved the way I did. It could be considered a normal and understandable reaction based on defense mechanisms and survival instincts and whatever beliefs I held about myself and my ability to attain safety at that point in time.

Yet it's still something I have trouble fully accepting emotionally. I feel guilty that I behaved one way with Shannon outside of school and another way inside of school - following the script and pattern I had undergone as the target for several years... but now on the side of the aggressor, acting as a sidekick and following the leaders of the crowd.

If I were to look for a silver lining, I would say it taught me a very good lesson in cruelty... about my capacity to be cruel and the danger of being too afraid to stand up to those who are hurting me to do what I know is right.

And now, approximately 25 years later, I intend to dedicate myself to helping create school environments wherein all students feel safe, respected, and accepted. To put into place preventative programming emphasizing tolerance and respectful communication in the hopes we can make children more aware of those patterns and the power they have.

Perhaps then more students who feel stuck to the point of desperation will instead be able to write a new story with a much happier ending... for everyone.

Walk the Talk the Occ

Some days are harder than others. Some days are easier. In terms of this blog, I suppose the same holds true. Some days the words just pour out, and other days it seems like I sit, staring blankly at the screen for a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time.

There were two lovely things today that could be counted as joys.

1. I was researching strategies and interventions for small group counseling focused on raising academic motivation for at-risk students. For whatever reason (probably because of my combo of search terms), I stumbled on several sites for elementary school counselors in various parts of the U.S. Each page I went to described a comprehensive school counseling program and was well though out, thorough, and exciting/inspiring to read. I got excited about school counseling again, which is a big deal because I have been struggling this semester with the larger ramifications of this career choice due to some unfortunate circumstances, and so it was good to remember what makes me excited and hopeful about this profession - and to see there are indeed people out there who are really putting in the effort.

2. The second bit of good news today was passed along by my husband, who saw that one of our favorite people, Dana, has decided to open her own massage studio. So very cool. This is not the biggest surprise, as we were still in Chicago when Dana began her massage therapist training, and there was no doubt it was a purposeful and meaningful path for her. You know how you meet people who are doing what you know they are supposed to be doing? You see them in that job and they are fully in their element. There's something sort of Zen about it. What is even more impressive is that Dana is pursuing this while also raising two twin daughters with her husband. She is a fierce and wonderful woman... and it's always nice to see your friends realize their dreams.

(this is not a dress rehearsal, you know)

I saw the matinee performance of 43 Plays For 43 Presidents today. It was a lovely production, and it was great to see all the great changes they made. I think we always wished we could mount it with a larger budget - allowing us to do more with it. So it was extremely gratifying to see it produced with such support and thoughtfulness... and so wonderful to get to meet everyone behind (and in) the show who so clearly have put their full energy into this production. Nice people with good hearts and great ideas.

One thing The Actors Theatre has been able to do that we had talked about but never were able to accomplish is to set aside several shows specifically for school-aged audiences - complete with materials designed to encourage study and discussion in the classroom before and after the show. It really is such a great piece of edu-tainment... it's so cool to see a theatre take that opportunity and run with it so thoroughly.

It was also very odd to come see it in the capacity of one of the playwrights. Someone said to me and Andy, "You're celebrities here." Which was so very, very, very odd. I don't feel like a celebrity. My life right now, and the path I'm currently on, is even so far away from theatre and the arts as to make this whole experience somewhat surreal (albeit wonderful).

And so I will finish this blog, having put the little one to bed, and then turn my attention to my homework - which is all about quantitative and qualitative research and the context of my current school counseling internship. Sometimes it's confusing to have so many hats that fit just fine. It makes deciding what to wear a little tricky. But I suppose that's not a bad conundrum to have.