Dissonance in Minor to Major Adjustments

I have been thinking a lot today about maladaptive behavior... how all of us use our creativity, maleability, strength, and smarts to do all we can to adjust to fit the needs of our environments and sitautions so that we have the greatest chance for success (and in some cases, survival).

If we go along with this theory, it sort of leads to a greater propensity toward understanding and compassion when we come across someone who is doing something that seems to make absolutely no sense or is, in fact, somewhat disruptive or dangerous.

Often, this dysfunctional behavior has arisen out of choices necessitated by a negative, unhealthy, or otherwise unacceptable situation over which that person had no control. We do what we can do survive... and in some cases, that might mean we end up making some choices that - in "normal" circumstances - seem odd, destructive, or (a la Hamlet) out of joint.

There is a Thich Nhat Hahn quote in a journal my Mom sent me that I am using at school as a means of balance, centering, and self-care:

"There is no understanding without love, and there is no love without understanding."

I see it as a reminder to be gentle in my understanding of others... because there are always elements to someone's story that I will never fully know. And, if I do get glimpses of how or why he or she has ended up in a difficult spot, it nearly always increases my compassion for and understanding of why such struggle exists in the given moment.

Ultimately, there are many things we can provide for one another that are acts of love. And those things, I believe, are some of the most integral aspects of what it means to be successfully connected and actively interconnected to those around us.

Forgiveness. Empathy. Patience. Understanding. Kindness. All of those things enhance and improve the experience of the recipient (and our own experience as well).