Monday, January 19, 2009

Looking for the Lesson, Finding the Opportunity

Somewhere around 6:30am today I realized half my back left molar was missing. I have no idea when or how it happened, nor am I entirely sure what in the world made half my tooth disappear. It made for an odd morning and stressful day, particularly since the university is on vacation and the only people who take my coverage are located... at the university.

So... here's hoping I can get it fixed tomorrow, that I am not making it worse by continuing to eat or drink periodically, and that it does not get any more painful in the meantime.

I have been wondering all day what opportunity was provided in my little dental mishap. I think it's provided several avenues for reflection and mindfulness. First, I take my teeth for granted. I have not taken care of them since I became pregnant (which is a big no-no), and I should know better. Especially since my grandmother had tons of problems with hers and those sorts of things tend to be genetic.

Second, this is a tiny thing to be worried about, discomforted by, or fixated upon. There are so many things going on right now that merit greater focus and compassion on the continuum of suffering than my minor tooth problems. It's sometimes helpful to have something like this happen simply to put all the other things I am not having to live through put into perspective.

Even with my insurance woes and absolute ire (I could truly launch into a diatribe at any moment), it is nothing compared to what so many are dealing with at this very moment. Tiny. Tiny.

I guess third and finally, although in most moments I feel predominantly saddened, my current backaches, tooth aches, head aches, and eye strain all remind me I am human. Fragilely, frailly human. And there is beauty and purpose even in that... though some days it is hard to embrace it.

1 comment:

Claff said...

I totally sympathize. I lost a piece of my back molar last year. Had to have a root canal - but thankfully, it was more annoying than painful. Not painful at all, really. Thank goodness for that.

And... I just got diagnosed with osteoarthritis in both my thumb joints... so I doubly sympathize with that feeling of "When did I get OLD?" It's so hard, I think; especially when your mind and your outlook and your sense of purpose in the world all feel so young and green sometimes...