Obscure Beauty

I heard on the radio yesterday Eartha Kitt had died. As is so often the case with celebrities, there were lots of stories, commentaries, editorial notes, etc. about her life and the many things that made her unique... one might even say great.

It made me think about this love affair we seem to have with the famous in American culture. We adore, pedestal-ize, twitter over, and eventually eulogize those who have reached stardom with a sort of myopic, laserbeam focus - forgetting or often not even noticing the many acts of courage, kindess, and generosity going on around us all the time.

It was one of the reasons I loved the CNN Heroes concept so much... except that, ironically, the very act of recognizing those heroes on such a grand and public scope - even ending with an awards ceremony and the "top hero" of the bunch (who very humbly suggested those in the audience raise/donate the same amount of her award for every other person nominated).

Maybe there is no middle ground between obscurity and celebrity. Although - I have seen it from time to time... the celebration and mourning of an ordinary life that managed to touch thousands of people without every garnering what any of us would consider extraordinary praise or public notice.

I've been thinking about it a lot not only because of my own internal struggle with recognition and obsurity, but also from the standpoint of school counseling and character education or classroom guidance. How do we teach good character to our youth? How do we model it? How do we encourage it?

I tend to think it aligns with both the Unitarian Universalist and Buddhist approaches, which differ slightly but have, fundamentally, the same end. You do what is right because it is right. UUs support action tied to a fundamental creed - a personal and collective promise - based upon the concepts of social connection, interpersonal equilibrium, and humanitarian responsibility. Similarly, the Buddhist approach also seems to be one of action, but perhaps one that is also tied into spiritual harmony and personal enlightenment (which in turn leads to greater compassion and ability to help others).

In either case, the idea is not to seek accolades, recognition, or praise for one's work. To commit random acts of kindness that are unsung expressions of love.

I like what Abraham Lincoln said on the subject (which sounds a bit like a Zen koan):

"Character is like a tree and reputation like its shadow.

The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing."

So how do we celebrate our ordinary heroes without making right action heroic? How do we encourage responsibility and compassion while underscoring such things should be the norm, rather than the exception?

Perhaps the first step is simply opening our experience to include the acts of generosity, compassion, and bravery taking place in our own lives. To notice our local and personal heroes and to see if we might be able to do the same for someone else - even if, and perhaps especially if, no one will ever know.