My cousin Wendell has been in the hospital this week. Actually, he's my mother's cousin... so I always forget what that makes me... first cousin once removed or second cousin or what?
Whatever our relation, I am very, very fond of him. He's an amazing man who taught me two very important lessons (just through the simple act of being himself).
1. Go for substance, not shine.
I had spent a lot of time chasing after pretty men who talked a good game and had everyone charmed but accomplished little in the way of true passion or character. Wendell opened my eyes to a new type of partner - his marriage with Pru to a new type of partnership. I wanted someone intelligent, interesting, sincere, and gentle. Which meant going for the unusual rather than the usual... or at least, what was my usual.
2. There is great beauty and dignity in a simple life.
Wendell helped to shape my own understanding of myself and what I wanted out of life. Hearing his stories of working in wildlife management, his tales of his and Pru's first several years together, remembrances of his time in the navy, and his overwhelming passion for (and knowledge of) history, antiques, and music changed the way I understood the concept of success. I began to realize creativity does not have to be on a public scale in order to be fulfilling... it's possible to balance a job you love with a family you commit to and still find time and energy for outlets that are equal parts rejuvenating and relaxing. Taking a genuine interest in the people and world around you can provide endless opportunities for personal growth and satisfaction... and it has nothing to do with fame or fortune.
Wendell has a surgery scheduled for tomorrow morning, and then possibly another later in the week. I am praying for success in each so that these steps may lead to several more years in which he can spend quality time with all of us.
I know none of us is ready to let him go just yet.
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