Sunday, October 5, 2008

Said, and Done.

One of the several reasons Andy and I chose to move down into my grandparents' home was to take part in an effort to restore an historic home and to convert the dwelling back into a single-family residence so that - no matter what might happen - it would not simply become rental property for undergrads.

We had a romantic notion, I think, of what it would be like to renovate and restore an old property, and we had lofty dreams of uncovering the original hardwood floors, discovering long-forgotten treasures, and putting in place all the lovely details and beauties we had seen in magazines like Old Home and This Old House.

Now, three years later and several projects behind, we both feel ready to leave this type of living behind and commit to a structure more recently built and less in need of structural, foundational type work. We'd be willing to paint a wall here and there, redo a kitchen after a few years, or take up carpeting to expose original floors - but we're pretty much hoping to find a move-in-ready home in need of a few cosmetic touch-ups and built with an eye toward energy conservation and green philosophies.

Sometimes I think you have to follow those dreams embedded deep within your heart. They may be attached to childhood fantasies or aspects of an uncelebrated personality trait... but whether a good idea or bad, it's important to pursue the aims others may think folly.

If for no other reason than to know, truly know, within your heart when you reach the other side. I never need to do that again. Or... I was right! This is just what I wanted to be doing. Sometimes the only way to put those deeply ingrained questions to rest is to commit to the pursuit and fulfillment of the potential life we imagine, in order to better define our dreams for the future.

3 comments:

plaidshoes said...

So true. Sometimes you just need to follow the dream, wherever it may take you. I often find out a lot more about myself and what I truly want out of life.

Anonymous said...

I relate this post a lot. We bought a fixer-upper and have been fixing-upping for almost six years now. But even more than that, having lost my dad and decided what to salvage and honor versus what to leave and keep in memory only... this is so difficult.

Genevra said...

Thank you both for your comments. I feel similarly - that trudging down that path leads to so many valuable insights. It's something that has taken me a long time to learn and that I still struggle to accept at times.

And Lis, you so perfectly describe the tug-of-war that happens in the wake of someone's passing. I can totally relate to what you said. I still have things left in drawers that I am unwilling to release, but also know are ultimately silly to hold onto.

Knowing how to differentiate what we need versus what we are not yet ready to release can be incredibly painful and tricky. But as with so much of life, perhaps the struggle within the journey from one end to the other is the whole point.