A story hit the online news cycle recently about several Florida teenagers who beat up another, younger girl so they could post it to YouTube. The attackers were 14 years old, the victim 12.
This story reminded me sharply of a Dateline or Frontline or some kind of line special report Andy and I had watched several months ago about teens' activity on the internet. Chat rooms, video cams, pornographic material, cyber bullying, etc. These two things together scare the dickens out of me when it comes to raising Ari and wanting to ensure nothing bad ever happens to her (which I know is a fruitless and perhaps silly worry when taken holistically).
But I am left wondering how in the world you instill self-respect and self-worth in a young girl while also teaching her to defend herself and to know when others around her do not have her best interests in mind. And beyond all of that - what to do if she finds herself seriously in danger... how to get away, how to ask for help, how to keep going.
My own childhood contained intense bullying through much of elementary school and unwanted physical attention from a male teacher all through 5th grade. These two events are one of the many reasons I am now pursing school counseling - why I was drawn to counseling in general... mine is not such an unusual story.
Does resillience develop over time, is it instilled during childhood, or are you just born with it? Is strength of character learned or innate? Are we all bullies or victims... or is there something in between? Is it naive to think children can live/work/play together without enacting Lord of the Flies in some fashion?
I realize I am more full of questions than answer lately... and that I am terribly focused on my daughter. Perhaps it is spring... perhaps it is the milestone of a second birthday... or maybe it's connected to my own feelings of vulnerability and tension lately in the midst of my own schooling... 20+ years later but still attached to the little girl who spent several years feeling frightened, scared, and alone.
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