In trying to think of something beautiful from today to offset how I am feeling internally, this is where I am at:
I am listening to U2 on the radio - Pride (In the Name of Love) - and thinking about high school. My favorite grey sweatshirt, torn jeans, and hair waiting to be released from its most recent perm. My white VW Rabbit, the windows down, a soft spring day in CT with the roads slightly wet from afternoon rain... driving to rehearsal where I get to spend over two hours with some of my closest friends doing something that make me feel insanely happy.
I remember how unhappy that "me" was most of the time. And I look back on her fondly... an older, wiser self who has multiple years of insight (and hindsight) but understands with fondness where all the drama, confusion, and mishegoss was coming from.
I wonder if, 10 years from now, I will look back on this period of time and feel similarly. If the days of frustration, burn out, stress, worry, or sadness will look so much smaller and so much less critical with even more distance and age.
We shall see.
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