Monday, March 24, 2008

No crystal ball

One of the things I struggle with most is the increasingly unignorable truth that there is no such thing as being 100% sure about anything - at least, not for me. There is no right answer, no perfect choice, no magic wand or fated truth.

I like to believe there is. I fight against the unknowing and confusion - against what feels to me to be guessing or flailing within an infinite expanse of choice and possibility. And I suppose, rather than feeling excited or buoyed by the limitless range of options before me, I feel overwhelmed and a bit burdened... at least, with the big picture stuff.

Andy and I were talking recently about the many ways in which we as humans try to create meaning out of the inevitable chaos of life. And there is an ongoing conundrum as to whether destiny or fate exists, or if free will does indeed hold all the cards.

Ultimately, I think the Zen Buddhists are on to something in emphasizing embracing the here-and-now. Whether you have control or not, whether there is help from outside, within, or around you... perhaps the first step is to simply be. Present, aware, and awake... living with a balance between past, present, and future - with an attachment to none of the three.

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