Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Wiped out

This is the first time I am writing my post late. I didn't get to it yesterday, thus breaking my internal promise to write one entry each day. This is disappointing, and seems to connect to a larger issue in my life with regard to stress and insufficient personal time.

It's a choice, it's finite, but it's very trying some days - particularly when I work late into the night and then get awakened by Ari at 4am only to start the whole cycle over at about 5:15am.

Today it feels like a sorrow more than a joy, which perhaps is just a matter of perspective. Others who are close to me would say I'm not taking care of myself (self care is what we call it in counseling) - and I'd have to admit that it's true, knowing full well what that means for my emotional, psychological, and physical health.

In this case, I think I did not manage my time wisely, and I also got waylaid by a series of self-doubts and indecision that were decidedly ill-timed.

So where is the lesson in it for me? I suppose it's multiple things... a loud and clear shouting out of steps I could take to make life go a little more smoothly and feel a little more satisfying:
  • Manage your time better;
  • Don't beat yourself up over indecision or confusion;
  • Try to be here, now;
  • Find the joy;
  • Enjoy the journey. (I must credit Dr. Zyromski with that one)
Gotta go. Baby at my legs crying "Mama mama" over and over - which is certainly a joy from some angles.

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